Another doctor’s appointment yields nothing, only burning a further hole into their pockets. Amy holds her husband Mason’s arm as they walk out hand in hand, a pamphlet about IVF clutched in her hand.
“Only God can help you, as you mentioned that IVF is beyond your budget.” The doctor had told them just a few minutes ago. “Just pray to God; He will listen.”
The truth is that Amy and Mason are far from religious; they are atheists. However, Amy now wonders if praying to a deity might not be so bad after all.
“I’m exhausted.” Mason sighs as he walks into the car. He seems to have aged more over the past few months than he has in years, and although he’s still her handsome Mason, it’s not quite the same anymore. “We have tried everything, and it still leads to nothing.”
Amy stares down at her stomach, feeling like a failure. They have been trying for a child repeatedly with no such luck. They have tried every sex position known to man, and they never stopped. But every doctor’s appointment only led to more disappointment.
IVF was not an option, so Amy had to think. They could likely adopt a child, but what fun is that? Amy isn’t against adoption entirely, but she also wants to experience the process of carrying a baby. She wants to be pregnant; she wants those morning sicknesses and cravings; she desires the entire pregnancy experience.
She lets out a sigh as she settles into the passenger seat, aware that this entire process is putting a strain on their marriage.
“Could we really try IVF?” Amy asks hopefully, but Mason shakes his head, his mop of dark hair shaking in the process.
“I’m sorry, my darling; I wish we could afford it, but we can’t.” He lets out a sigh. “Even if we do, chances of getting you pregnant are low. I don’t want to risk us going broke over something that won’t happen.”
He is right, she knows that. And yet it didn’t make it any easier for her. It still hurts Amy, opening up a hole in her heart that can only be healed by a child.
“I wish it wasn’t so.” She whispers to Mason, who gently keeps a hand on her lap to steady her. The car ride is silent and filled with disappointment when it used to be filled with laughter. Amy still loves Mason, and Mason also loves his wife. But love isn’t enough, not when they both yearn for a child of their own.
Back home, Mason kisses her temple and takes off his shirt, ready to hop in the shower. “Do you wanna join? I read somewhere that the water in the shower helps the sperms swim faster.”
“Is that a joke?” she doesn’t laugh, perhaps due to her exceedingly sour mood. At any other time, she would have.
Mason chuckles sadly, “Yes, bad timing, I suppose. The shower offer still stands?”
Amy glances up at her half-naked husband, beautifully tanned and striking. Yet she feels no attraction roiling in her stomach; she does not have the urge to lean out and embrace him, kiss him, and make love with him.
This is terrible, but their libido is also fading away alongside their hope of ever conceiving a child.
“I’ll think about it,” Amy says silently, knowing she likely would not be doing much thinking anyway. Mason shrugs and walks away, feeling dejected. It seems his wife has lost interest in him, not since he could not give her a child.
Amy grabs her phone to scroll through Facebook, anything to help her forget about her current issues. But as though the universe is playing a cruel joke on her, all the posts seem to be family-related. Some celebrate their child’s first birthday, and others post photos of their first day in school.
Each one seems to send Amy into a spiral from which she feels she cannot escape. Until she encounters a post that sets itself apart from the rest, one that halts her in her tracks as she stares at it. It’s an advertisement that much she can discern. But it’s not like any advertisement she has ever seen.
But once again, it’s the universe seemingly knowing exactly what she’s going through.
It’s an ad for a site called ‘studs for hire’. It’s basically a site where you can hire an able-bodied stud to impregnate your wife. Amy stares at the ad for too long. At first, it seems a bit ridiculous, far-fetched even. Could a thing like this even work? What does this even mean?
Amy knows she should scroll past it, but she doesn’t seem to be able to. She’s not considering it exactly, but she’s not dismissing it either. It’s dangerous to linger for so long on one option, to ponder how this could possibly be the solution. And it won’t cost nearly as much as IVF would!
At that moment, Mason crawls up from behind her and tackles her with his wet body, exclaiming, “I thought I should bring the shower to you!”
Amy shrieks and throws her phone, but before it lands, Mason catches it.
“Gosh, Mason! You scared me.” Amy shivers at the cold of his body, but Mason doesn’t respond to her, not right away anyway.
When Amy glances up, she finds him holding on to her phone, his eyes staring at her screen, and Amy knows exactly what he’s looking at — the Studs for Hire ad.
His face has lost all playfulness, and she watches him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bopping up and down. Amy has no idea what he would think about it, and her stomach rumbles in anticipation of his reaction.